One of my pastoral heroes is Arnold Dallimore, author of a two-volume biography of George Whitefield, as well as a biography of Spurgeon. Dallimore pastored a church in Cottam, Ontario for 24 years.
Before he pastored in Cottam, though, Dallimore pastored three small churches, including Briscoe Street Baptist Church in London, Ontario. Briscoe Street Baptist was known by some as the “pastor-killing” church. Dallimore called it a ministerial graveyard. Most ministers stayed a year. Dallimore lasted 13 months.
Dallimore’s departure led to break from ministry that lasted three years, as well as a prolonged period of depression. He started buying and renovating houses to make ends meet, living (with his wife and first child) in eight houses in two years. They were so broke that they started to sell their wedding gifts to eat.
During this time, Dallimore disappeared to New York State for three months on doctor’s orders. His wife knew “nothing about where he went or what he did, only that he seemed better when he returned home,” according to Ian Clary.
Dallimore got hurt, and he ran. When he returned, he began his longest pastorate, as well as a fruitful ministry writing books that continue to be widely read today.
The Company of Pastoral Suffering
I’m strangely comforted reading stories like this. Ministry is hard. When we suffer, we’re not alone.
Somehow I love knowing that Paul added the daily anxiety for churches to his list of hardships (2 Corinthians 11:28). It helps to know that Jonathan Edwards was fired, that Spurgeon suffered from depression, and that some of my contemporary heroes have been mistreated. I hate that they suffered, but I’m comforted too. Of these men, the world is not worthy.
“Our work, when earnestly undertaken, lays us open to attacks in the direction of depression,” said Spurgeon. “Who can bear the weight of souls without sometimes sinking to the dust?”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going through a period of suffering or depression myself. I love our little church plant with all its joys and headaches.
But I know some who are being mistreated by churches they pastored. I know some churches that have established a track record of destroying pastors and their families.
God Knows
Stories don’t always end happily. Some suffer and never recover; some reputations are lost and never recovered. Not all pastors are guiltless. But God keeps track and will vindicate those who’ve been wrong.
Dallimore ran, but later began his most fruitful period of ministry. God never wastes suffering, and pastoral suffering is no exception.
Pastor: if you’ve been mistreated, if you’re hurting, you may want to run. You may need a temporary break from ministry or more.
But know this: God sees; God knows. He will vindicate; his evaluation of your ministry is the only one that matters. Your identity is secure in him. You’ve joined the company of pastoral sufferers. You’re in very good company.
Dallimore ran, but his best years were still to come. You’re not alone, and the story’s not over.
