There has been a lot of discussion about the Order of Love or Ordo Amoris recently, due to some comments by Vice President J.D. Vance. Biblical Christianity teaches a clear order of loves:
1. God first
2. Family — defined as Jesus defines it, which includes brothers and sisters in Christ
3. Neighbours — defined as the person in need that God puts in your path (See the Good Samaritan)
4. Enemies
While Christian love embraces everyone, even the enemy, there is an undeniable and unavoidable ordering, in terms of the practical outworking and application. Christian love is never merely a matter of sentiment:
“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18 ESV)
While the expressing of sentiment is not a zero-sum game, loving in action and deed, in a fallen world, necessarily is, and therefore, practically speaking, there will always be some kind of ordering to our love, at the level of obligation, responsibility and support. The Bible embraces this reality. Galatians 6:10 indicates that while we have a general obligation to do good to all, we have a particular responsibility to care for the needy within the church:
“let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10 ESV)
Similarly, Paul can talk about love for neighbour as a sort of shorthand for the whole moral law, as he does in Galatians 5:14, while making clear that believers have a particular responsibility to care for their own family members, as he does in 1 Timothy 5:8:
“if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV)
Everyone and especially.
Inclusivity and priority.
Any faithful summary of the Christian approach to love must make some effort at holding these things in proper tension.
There are rich resources within the Christian tradition to help us do that. For fun, and since Grok is free at the moment on X (Twitter), I asked Grok to define the doctrine of Ordo Amoris. This is what it said:
The doctrine of the “order of loves” in Christianity, often referred to as ordo amoris, is a concept rooted in classical Christian theology, particularly associated with Augustine of Hippo. It describes the proper hierarchy or prioritization of love that aligns with God’s design for human relationships and devotion. The idea is that love must be rightly ordered—directed first and foremost toward God, and then toward other things (such as self, others, and creation) in a way that reflects their proper place in relation to Him.
Key Elements of the Doctrine
Love for God as Primary: The greatest commandment, according to Jesus in the Gospels (Matthew 22:37-38), is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This establishes that love for God is the highest and foundational love, orienting all other affections.
Secondary Loves in Proper Order: After love for God, humans are called to love their neighbours as themselves (Matthew 22:39). This includes family, friends, community, and even enemies (Matthew 5:44). However, these loves are subordinate to and shaped by the love of God. For Augustine, disordered love (cupiditas) occurs when lesser things (e.g., material goods, self-interest, or other people) take precedence over God.
Distinction Between Caritas and Cupiditas: Augustine contrasts caritas (charitable, rightly ordered love directed toward God and others in Him) with cupiditas (disordered, selfish desire). The order of loves is about cultivating caritas, where all affections flow from and return to God, rather than being misdirected toward fleeting or idolatrous ends.
Moral and Spiritual Implications: The proper order of loves ensures that human desires align with divine will. For example, loving one’s spouse or children is good, but if that love eclipses devotion to God, it becomes disordered and potentially idolatrous. Similarly, self-love is appropriate only when it is subordinated to love for God and others.
Augustine’s Influence
Augustine articulated this concept most clearly in works like The City of God and Confessions. He argued that sin fundamentally arises from disordered love—loving the wrong things, or loving the right things in the wrong measure or manner. For instance, in Confessions, he famously wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you,” suggesting that only when love is ordered toward God does the soul find peace.
Practical Application
In Christian life, the order of loves serves as a guide for ethics and spirituality:
Worship and Devotion: God comes first in prayer, time, and allegiance.
Relationships: Love for others is expressed in a way that honors God (e.g., sacrificial love, forgiveness).
Material World: Enjoyment of creation (wealth, beauty, etc.) is legitimate but secondary, never replacing God as the ultimate good.
Broader Christian Tradition
While Augustine formalized the concept, it echoes throughout Scripture (e.g., the Ten Commandments prioritize fidelity to God above all) and is reflected in later thinkers like Thomas Aquinas, who integrated it into his theology of virtue, and C.S. Lewis, who explored it in works like The Four Loves. The doctrine remains a framework for understanding how Christians are called to navigate competing affections in a fallen world.
In essence, the order of loves is about aligning the heart’s desires with God’s purpose, ensuring that love flows from Him as the source and returns to Him as the goal.
Thanks, Grok!
As a Protestant, I don’t feel any obligation to align in totality with the Roman Catholic articulation of the doctrine, which I think obscures or at least underemphasizes the priority of love within the Body of Christ, but the general concept is sound and practically unavoidable. Some people will react negatively to this doctrine the first time they hear it. They will want to say: “But shouldn’t Christians love all people equally?”
Of course!
If we are talking on purely sentimental grounds. Sentiment is unlimited so it can be distributed universally, resources however are limited and therefore must be prioritized.
Do you buy groceries for all the people of the world or just your own family?
Do you have obligations to your wife that you do not have to other women in your city?
Do you save up money for all the kids in the world to go to university or just for your own kids?
Do you contribute to the relief fund for every family whose house burns down, or just to the one for the family in your town?
Does your benevolence account offer funds to every person in your community who is out of work, or do the members of your church get first call?
It is easy (and it sounds virtuous) to espouse an undifferentiated love for the world en masse, but beyond the expression of empty sentiment, it simply isn’t possible to do so. We must all order our loves, and as believers, we should do so in a way that accords with Scripture.
Governments have to do this as well. Should a country pay for education and health care for all the people of the world, or should they prioritize the care of their own citizens?
These are tough decisions that require honest conversations about our resources and responsibilities as individuals and societies.
God help!
Pastor Paul Carter
If you are interested in more Bible teaching from Pastor Paul you can access the entire library of Into The Word episodes through the Audio tab on the Into the Word website. You can also download the Into The Word app on iTunes or Google Play.
