Confessing sin is tough for anyone. It means humbling ourselves and revealing things that bring us deep shame.
While confession is difficult for everyone, it presents even greater challenges for pastors. Beyond the embarrassment, it can feel like a threat to our identity as spiritual leaders. Our very livelihood may hang in the balance.
One of Satan’s strategies is to keep us struggling with secret sin. The more sin is hidden, the more it tends to thrive. The more it thrives, the harder it is to confess. As a result, many pastors don’t know what to do with secret, persistent, embarrassing sins.
I’m pleading with you: don’t tolerate secret sin in your life.
Remember that you are a special target of Satan’s attacks. He knows that if he can lead you into secret habitual sin, he can do great damage through your life and ministry. “Take heed to yourselves, because the tempter will more ply you with his temptations than other men,” wrote Richard Baxter. “The enemy hath a special eye upon you. You shall have his most subtle insinuations, and incessant solicitations, and violent assaults.”
Remember, also, that the stakes are higher for you. James warns that teachers will be held to a higher standard (James 3:1). Secret sins are serious for every believer, but even more so for those entrusted with teaching God’s word. We will be judged with even greater strictness.
The problem is that every pastor struggles with sin and temptation. Until we’re glorified, we will continue to struggle with sin in our lives. If Baxter is right, we may even face more temptation than the average believer.
Here’s my plea: don’t make peace with sin in your life. Be aware of your particular temptations. Find some trusted friends, and make sure they know too. Take drastic action against your habitual sins. Refuse to keep secrets. Deal with your sin ruthlessly before it destroys you, even if it means giving up your pastoral ministry. Don’t let the price of confession or the shame of sin rob you from the freedom of conscience you can enjoy before God and his people.
Confessing sin comes at a price. I’ve seen too many pastors fall into a pattern of sin. They want to confess or get help, but the consequences seem severe. Instead of coming clean with their struggles and sins, they often mask them until one day those sins come out and cause untold damage.
Pastor: there are worse things than losing your ministry position or the embarrassment of confessing a serious sin to your elders. Keeping your sin secret may look cheap now, but it will cost you in at least three ways: you’ll carry the burden of a secret now; your conscience will be seared; and ultimately, you’ll likely be found out when the price of confession is even greater. That’s not even to mention the day that you will one day give account to God.
Please take whatever action is necessary to deal with your secret sins. Go to a trusted friend. Confess to your elders. Resign from ministry if needed. These actions may seem drastic, but they’re much less drastic than what will happen if you don’t take these steps.
I’m encouraged by what Ray Ortlund writes in his book The Death of Porn: “You’ll start getting free when you start getting honest.” I’ve heard Ortlund talk about getting together regularly with trusted friends to confess their sins to each other, beginning with what embarrasses them most. We need that kind of honesty, especially when we’re tempted to hide and conceal our sins from others.
Pastor, there is grace for you if you confess your sins and bring them into the light and come to Jesus. It may cost you in the short term, but for God’s sake and the church’s sake, please don’t tolerate hidden sin. It’s destroyed too many lives and churches. Please don’t let it happen to you.