The hardest part of ministry is also one of the best parts of ministry: people.
We have the privilege of serving them and loving them. God has entrusted them to our care, and we shouldn’t lose sight of how much they matter to him, and how blessed we are to care for those who matter to him.
But people will hurt us. Paul experienced this. He poured his life into them, and yet, near the end of his life, many had abandoned him. “You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me,” he wrote (2 Timothy 1:15). “At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me,” he says later in the letter (2 Timothy 4:16). These weren’t nameless people. Paul spoke about many of them: people he cared about, people who had served alongside him, people he loved.
Ajith Fernando once wrote about suffering in ministry. The title of his article is profound: “To Serve Is to Suffer.” One section in his article arrested me.
“Several people have sympathized with me, saying it must be hard and frustrating to serve in a country wracked by war and hostile to evangelism. Indeed, we have suffered. A few months ago, one of our staff workers was brutally assaulted and killed. But I think the biggest pain I have experienced is the pain I have received from Youth for Christ, the organization for which I have worked for 34 years. I can also say that next to Jesus and my family, Youth for Christ has been the greatest source of joy in my life.”
That captures it all: people — even our coworkers — will cause the greatest pain we will experience, but will also bring us deep joy.
I sat in a room with a group of pastors. One spoke of the deep pain he had experienced in recent months as people within the church turned against him. The season lasted months, and the hurt inflicted on the congregation, and on this pastor and his family, was profound.
As he spoke, I was struck not just by the depth of his pain but how often this happens. Pastors around the room nodded. They knew what he was talking about. They’d been there too.
If you pastor, you will experience this. “If you lead, you will eventually serve with Judas or Peter,” observes Dan Allender. But rather than becoming cynical, we can follow Paul’s example and respond in two ways.
First, we can put our hope in the Lord, not in people. People will betray us; God won’t. After speaking of the people who let him down, Paul wrote, “But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen” (2 Timothy 4:17-18).
These aren’t empty words. Every pastor can know that no matter how many people disappoint, God will continue to stand by them and strengthen them. He will rescue them; he will bring them safely home.
Second, we can follow Paul’s example and still continue to love and invest in others. As Paul concluded his letter, he shows us that he hadn’t walled himself off. He continued to prioritize people even after he’d been hurt. “Greet Prisca and Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus. Erastus remained at Corinth, and I left Trophimus, who was ill, at Miletus. Do your best to come before winter. Eubulus sends greetings to you, as do Pudens and Linus and Claudia and all the brothers” (2 Timothy 4:19-21). The wisest pastors continue to love even after they’ve experienced the pain of betrayal.
People will disappoint and hurt us. But I take comfort in the fact that Paul has been there too, and so has Jesus. They survived and continued to love, and with God’s help, we can too.