This article is the second in a four-part series titled “From Eden to Eternity: Christ at the Heart of Your Marriage.” It’s based on messages my husband, Dan, and I gave at a marriage conference at Muskoka Bible Center. We taught on a biblical vision of marriage from the four epochs of redemptive history: Creation, Fall, Redemption, and New Creation.
In my previous article, I explored “Creation – God’s perfect design for marriage.” Genesis 1-2 provides the initial setting for the story arc of redemption. Genesis 3 picks up where our last text left off. It recounts the most tragic story in the Bible. It’s at the origin of all our marriage problems and every trial we’ve ever known. When we last encountered our first parents in Eden, everything was perfect. Just as God intended. If only things remained that way! In this article, we will explore lessons on marriage from the second epoch in redemptive history, the Fall.
More Like Eve Than We Care to Admit
When Eve eats of the forbidden fruit, she believes that God is keeping her from enjoying the knowledge and pleasure she desires. We, too, believe the lie that God’s laws are burdensome and are getting in the way of our happiness. We may not state it so bluntly. But when we choose our own way over God’s, that is what we are affirming at the core. The timeless invitation of Genesis 3 is this:
Because God alone defines what is good and evil, unite in marriage and believe what he says.
The Serpent Slithers Onto the Scene
The tension in the epic story of redemption begins in Genesis 3, when the enemy of humanity enters the scene. Without introduction or explanation, a silver-tongued snake sneaks up on the woman. He doesn’t pull his punches; he opens with a question that undermines the very nature of God’s goodness and love: “Did God actually say ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” The serpent weaves a tail of lies that call God’s word into question.
Eve Engages With the Evil One
Eve responds by correcting him—only one tree is off limits. They aren’t to eat its fruit, or even touch it, or they’ll die. Here’s where the conversation should have ended. Instead, she suffers the slandering serpent to speak. “Come on, sweetheart! Seriously! You’re so naive! You won’t die! God just doesn’t want you to be like him. He’s selfish! He’s holding out on you. If he loved you, he’d share his wisdom and knowledge with you. Open your eyes! If he’s not going to do it for you, I suggest you open them yourself!”
The Ruse Works
At this point, any reader might want to press pause on the scene. To cry out to the woman, “Ignore that slithering snake! Drive him away with a stick!” If only we could. Tragically, the ruse works. The woman takes, eats, and gives to her husband—who has been there the whole time. In so doing, they hurl the entire universe into rebellion. The impact is instantaneous. Their eyes are openned and they know that they’re naked. Their inner shame at turning against their Maker is externalized in shame at their nakedness.
So, whereas Genesis 2 concludes with the emphatic statement that the two were naked and were not ashamed, in v. 7, sin and shame touch the human heart for the first time. All they can think of is covering themselves with fig leaves. And ever since, the human race has been covering and hiding its guilt and shame with its own proverbial fig leaves. This leads to the first action step of the text:
1. Reject the Serpent’s Lies (v. 1-7)
The woman may not realize what kind of despicable creature she is facing. She is duped, deceived, tricked. We, on the other hand, know the serpent’s tactics. When we come face to face with the evil one’s lies and accusations against the character of God, we need to do what our first parents should have done: Reject the lie.
Bring Your Doubts Into the Light
Sometimes we make room in our hearts and minds for lies that question God’s goodness. To be clear, it is normal to wrestle with doubt. To fluctuate between faith and fear. The psalmists do this all the time. One minute, they’re accusing God of abandoning them. And the next, they’re confessing their trust in him. And that’s just it: It’s the very fact that they cast their fears, doubts, and lament before him that shows that their faith is genuine.
So, the next time you’re tempted to believe the lies of our enemy, don’t keep them hidden. Expose them! The antidote to fear and unbelief is to bring our dark thoughts into the light of God’s presence. Nothing you say could cause him to turn away from you. You’re safe in his love.
The LORD God Questions the Man
Our first parents hear the LORD approaching, and, for the first time ever, they hide from him instead of welcoming his arrival. The LORD God inquires of the man, “Where are you?” God asks because he wants to give him the chance to fess up. The man admits that he hid because he was naked and afraid. “Who told you that you were naked?” God continues, “Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (v. 11)
In response, the man chooses to blame both God and the woman (v. 12). “Don’t blame me,” he implies. “You know that woman you made? Yeah, big mistake, LORD. Huge. I was just minding my own business when the woman you gave me gave me (same verb) the forbidden fruit. What else was I supposed to do? So, I ate it!”
The LORD God Questions the Woman
The LORD God then turns to the woman (v. 13), addresses his image bearer with questions rather than accusations. And the woman, too, responds with blame-shifting. “I didn’t mean to! I promise!” she implies. “That slithering serpent seduced me! You should have heard his voice. It was so enticing! I couldn’t help but listen to him. And I ate.” These verses offer the second lesson of our text:
2. Recognize Your Brokenness (v. 8-13)
Caught in the act, the man and his wife blame shift. And we’ve been doing the same thing ever since. It is so easy to turn on one another. “I’m not the problem, you are!” Thanks to meeting with a Christian therapist, Dan and I have learned that, amid conflict, neither one of us is the problem. The problem is the problem! Whenever we’re tempted to launch into a volley of verbal accusations, this reframing has helped us recognize that our sin, our division, our difficulty communicating is the problem, not our spouse.
The Judgment Oracle Against the Serpent
In response to this mutiny, the LORD God first turns to the serpent. He offers no Socratic inquiry. Instead, he curses him and confines him to eat dust all the days of his life. His mention of “dust” seems designed to put the serpent on notice: “The dust from which I formed the man will be in your face all your days. You who intended to destroy the man made from dust will eat his dust.” Then, God foretells a day in which the serpent’s offspring will deliver a blow to the heel of the woman’s offspring, but he will stomp the head of the vile creature.
The First Gospel Promise
Here we discover the brightest light amid humanity’s darkest hour. The very good news amid so much bad news is that the story doesn’t end here. Genesis 3:15 is the first of many promises of a coming Deliverer. By his cross and resurrection, he will disarm and triumph over the serpent and his spiritual seed. That’s the hope we hold onto as we absorb the weight of our first parents’ rebellion.
The Judgment Oracle Against the Woman
Having declared the defeat of the diabolical snake, God turns his attention next to the woman in his second judgment oracle. It involves two essential elements of her being: Her body and her heart.
The Woman’s Body
Her pain will intensify throughout pregnancy, childbirth, and by extension, the entire reproductive cycle. From debilitating menstrual cramps, to the searing sorrow of miscarriages, to the gruelling birth of children sans epidural for most of human history. And we could add to that the often unbearable symptoms women experience during perimenopause. I’d say we women have a long list of grievances to bring to the mother of all the living!
The Woman’s Heart
Scholars debate the exact meaning of the phrase, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. Some believe it means that there would henceforth be an adversarial relationship between men and women. Wives will usurp their husbands’ leadership, and in return, husbands will dominate their wives. Others believe that the term “desire” refers to a wife’s excessive, obsessive focus on her husband, to the point of idolatry. And rather than returning her unhealthy affection, he will rule harshly over her.
Regardless of what interpretation we hold, we should first note that Genesis 3:16 is a descriptive consequence and not a prescriptive command. This unhealthy dynamic is by no means God’s best, his manual for a God-glorifying marriage. It’s simply a natural result of the fall. What’s more, redemption’s purpose is to recover God’s original design for marriage. As new creations, we are to live as God’s beloved children, walking in his light, loving as he calls us to.
The Judgment Oracle Against the Man
Next, God turns his attention towards the man. The phrase, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife,” is not an indictment against ever listening to his wife. It simply means that when facing the choice between listening to God’s voice or his wife’s, his Maker’s comes first. Next, God curses the ground. Note that he reserves the term “cursed” for the serpent and the ground, and not for his image bearers. Whereas predatory plants were unheard of prior to the fall, they will now choke the fields where men labour for their daily bread. We next see two references to lifespan in v. 17 and 19. These verses demonstrate God’s mercy in three powerful ways:
- While God promised that disobedience would bring death, he does not inflict it immediately. He lets them live!
- God describes death as a reversal of the creation process. And that in itself is a mercy, because to live forever as fallen creatures away from God’s abiding presence would be unbearable.
- While humans will have to sweat to bring forth food from the soil, they will find sustenance therein.
In these verses, we discover the third lesson of our text,
3. Receive the LORD God’s Mercy (v. 14-19)
Even in judgment, God shows mercy. In the beginning, God designed work to be a source of blessing, joy, and satisfaction. But the fall transformed that task into toil. Yet he doesn’t just curse the ground and leave our first parents desolate. He provides the seed, the rain, and the basic physics that allow for a harvest. The curse brings the pain of toil, but God’s mercy ensures the toil is not ultimately futile. And it’s the same for us today. Our broken bodies may wear out from long hours of labour. But God provides.
What’s In a Name?
Despite the well-deserved judgment that he’s just received, Adam’s act in v. 20 speaks of hope. He names his wife Eve, i.e. mother of all the living. It’s as if Adam were saying, “God showed us mercy! All who live will look back and remember that God spared us from instant death. They will call Eve their mother.”
Then, God shows more grace: He slays a substitute. The shed blood of an animal replaces that of the man and his wife. And the animal’s skin covers their nakedness, foreshadowing the One who would shed his blood to cover our sin and shame once and for all at the cross.
The dialogue between God and humanity ends here. He drives Adam and Eve out of Eden. And he assigns angelic guards to watch over the tree of life. In so doing, our story comes full circle. Because just as the prohibition of eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil had been for their good, the heavenly squadron guarding the tree of life was, too. Because the worst fate for fallen humanity would be to live forever in a sinful, broken, rebellious state. That would be hell on earth! From these verses, we draw our final lesson of this text:
4. Remember Your Hope (v . 20-24)
Adam speaks words of hope to his wife. She gave in to temptation. He could have made her wear that label the rest of her life. Instead, he gives her a name that reflects the grace they’d both received. In this act, we’re invited to name our spouse’s potential and not their failures. To speak affirmations rather than accusations.
These verses also invite us to stop sewing fig leaves of futile human efforts to cover our shame. And, lastly, these verses challenge us to place clear, visible boundaries to guard the health and future of our marriage. This could be as simple as agreeing not to discuss delicate topics when tired or hungry. Or committing to end all arguments with a prayer or a touch. Or promising to come to one another with our grievances rather than talking behind one another’s backs to friends or relatives.
Conclusion
In this second article in this series, I’ve delved into the greatest disaster in human history. And while it’d be easy to point fingers at our first parents, we’ve recognized ourselves in them. In their disobedience, we’ve seen our own. We’ve been reminded of how easily we question God’s goodness and regard his boundaries as burdensome. And we’ve also witnessed God’s mercy and grace. It began in the garden and continues today, every time we taste forgiveness in response to our rebellion. In the next article in this series, we’ll discover lessons for marriage from the third epoch in God’s history of salvation, “Redemption – Christ’s Perfect Love as our Model (Ephesians 5:21-33).”
You can find a series of short videos from the conference on my YouTube channel. The audio recording of this session is available here.
