The best songwriters do more than know their audience, they join them. And Kyle Hume does just that in his recent song.
The first time I heard Where We Are was a month ago, thanks to an AI algorithm. As a millennial (born between 1981-1996), I follow the norm in discovering new songs on apps like Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Music. But if I was Gen Z (born between 1997-2012), I would have been far more likely to hear Kyle’s music on TikTok.
Kyle Hume has 156,000 subscribers on YouTube. But on TikTok, he has almost fifteen times that number of followers, as well as over thirty-four million “Likes.” His most beloved videos begin with him looking straight into the camera, saying something like, “I wrote this song for anyone who really, really misses someone,” before belting out a melody.
When I heard Where We Are, I immediately felt it was giving voice to a number of trends I’ve read about, discussed with young adults and teens, or felt in my own life. Some lines sound cliche precisely because they represent feelings so common in our anxious age.
Whether you are a pastor, parent, or friend of a teen, I think it’s worth a listen to better understand the next generation. Hearing them out can help us as we speak and serve them.
Cuz everyone I know is tryna find
A way to feel alive
The important word here is trying (which is what “tryna” translates to, in case you were wondering). Gen Z is a generation raised under the combined mantas of “as long as you try your best,” and, “be true to yourself.” The first mantra teaches effort. The second teaches that the effort must be measured against a standard within. And these can conflict with each other. How much effort is best? It’s up to your inner feelings. Gen Z has basically been told they should figure it out for themselves and so it’s hard for them to know if they’ve ever done enough. They all just keep trying.
In a TikTok video, Kyle says he wrote this song because “it just feels like no one is ever content about anything anymore.” Trying is good. Contentment is good. But contentment with effort is better. The Apostle Paul can speak about pressing on in Philippians 3, and also his lack of untamed yearning in Philippians 4:10; “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”
According to Jean Twenge, starting around 2012, teens and young adults became more likely to agree with statements like “I can’t do anything right” and “My life is not useful” and less likely to agree with “I enjoy life as much as anyone.”[1] It’s important to note that Christians can struggle with depression, anxiety, and self-worth too, which is all the more reason why we need to learn contentment.
We blame it on the seasons
That something’s up with Venus
Oh no no
Is it just our condition
To feel like something’s missing?
No, it’s not astrology. Yes, it is our condition! We are both sinners and made in God’s image. We can’t help but sense this even if we don’t use those labels and instead call it our “condition.” As Paul said, even those who have never read the Bible do things, by nature, that are required in the Bible and so “are a law for themselves” with thoughts that accuse themselves. We are all missing something: righteousness. We lack that sense of deep accomplishment that lasts longer than the high of an aced exam or the security of a relationship with someone who won’t ever break up with us.
The city never sleeps and we all eat in cars
While we look for love online cause we can’t find it at the bars
The city never sleeps: there is a constant sense of activity and stimulation 24/7 (this is likely felt more due to social media than the actual physical city). Young people eat in cars, yes, and perhaps that implies what the data shows: we are more alone and lonely than ever. As Twenge shows, Gen Z is less likely to spend time with their friends after school, less likely to have sex, less likely to get married, and less likely to have kids.
Even at the University of Waterloo, my old school, the campus bar closed down prior to the pandemic. It used to be a place to laugh, dance, and make memories. It’s been replaced by apps.
Online dating has become the most popular location where couples meet. This is true across all generations. But dating apps are losing their appeal; 78% of users report feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by them. A whole generation is looking for love — where will they find it?
And we’re spending all our savings on a way to numb ourselves
Cuz it’s been the year the world is ending since 2012
While “spending all out savings” is hyperbole, the rest of the line isn’t. We are all numbing ourselves. According to author Anton Barba-Kay, “numbness is the dominant note of [our] age.” Numbness is “what underlies the alternations of our hanker for stimulation and our burnt-out, overhyped fatigue.”
We live in an ocean of dopamine-dripping technology, with wave after crashing wave of pointless novelty, and we have the audacity to ask how we got so wet. The truth is right before us: we numb ourselves with the very technologies that make us so anxious. It’s not good.
And yes, “it’s the end of the world,” can sound terror-inducing. But actually, it’s good news for those who love God. We are currently living in the last days (really, we are). And for those of us who have joined the body of Christ, we have secured an everlasting life with him. We don’t need to numb ourselves, because we take joy in our sufferings with Christ (though, of course, Christians may still use digital distractions for good and bad).
And I’m trying to find the silver lining
I’ll keep digging through the rough until I find the diamonds
Maybe life is less of tryna fight it
And more about the beauty in the drive than the arriving
Kyle Hume’s final verse goes back and forth, almost contradicting itself, in a way that reminds me of what Alan Noble has called Affirmation and Resignation. The first two lines affirm the optimistic cultural narrative of trying and doing it on your own. The last two lines are resigned: they assess the damage wrought by daily living in our anxious age and, understandably, lower their aspirations – but note how even this is subjectively framed: I must find the beauty; it’s still “up to me” to figure it out.
In any case, the anthem of our day is a lack of personal contentment, a resignation toward the difficulties of life, and a lament at the loneliness only numbed by screens. Kyle Hume and his co-authors[2] give voice to Gen Z, to their struggle and effort. And the song keeps ranking up the views as TikTok users continue scrolling alone.
The song’s final call to find the beauty in the process, regardless of the outcome, is not new. There is some truth in it. Perhaps there’s more truth than the writers of the song realized. Is there really beauty in the world? I wonder what Kyle Hume meant by beauty, and if it is something objective and graspable, or once again just a subjective feeling? In a true 2024 metamodern mood, he doesn’t know for sure – maybe, maybe, life is about the beauty.
The underlying question of our age is whether everything is just means or whether there are some ends. Is there a point? A purpose? Or am I just left on my own to try and try and feel good?
Gen Z grew up on subjective mantras of trying their best. The effort is high, but so is the frustration.
They just want to feel alive, and yet everything feels so numb, and they know they do it to themselves. But if there is something representing the good and the beautiful, something outside themselves that’s worth living for, well, maybe that’s something they’d be interested in. Maybe there’s Someone they’d be interested in. And maybe we need to tell them. Maybe.
[1] Twenge, Jean M.. Generations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents—and What They Mean for America’s Future (p. 394). Atria Books. Kindle Edition.
[2] According to Genius.com the song was written by Kyle Hume, Autumn Buysse, and Spencer Jordan.
